Hi my internet friends. I’m in my wayfinding season. Looking for my next thing. I wrote about it on my blog, if you need some context.
Some days I feel lost. Seems like a great time to reread Rebecca Solnit’s A Field Guide to Getting Lost. It’s one of the rare books I’d think about every now and then, and want to get lost in. The first time I read it was back in 2014 or 2015, while I was very lost during my uni days. A different type of lost, plus the current self has gone through more life, so I’m looking forward to the re-read.
The feeling of being lost is not foreign to me. I literally lose my bearings every so often. My brain just doesn’t seem to retain visuals and paths that connect places to each other. Getting from one place to another may take a few u-turns and consults with Mr Google Maps. Reliance maps and directories within buildings and underground remain high.
At this juncture, there are a few destinations I could land on, but I need to make connections and pathways to go there. I’m at the fork of the road. A cross-juncture. I have an idealistic voice calling me over to the self-employed side - dig deep into my creative side and provide services for a living. This way, I can carve out my path and start building a life that truly aligns with what I value. The other practical voice tells me I have lots to learn and do in the Product role, and I can work for a few more years to save more money before jumping off the deep end.
Maybe I’m not lost, I just can’t make up my mind about where to go. It’s slightly disconcerting, and slightly exciting that I could pursue all windows of opportunity within reason, and see what actual doors open to me.
Where will I land in the next few weeks, or months? That’s my big question.
I’m in this liminal phase, neither going forward nor backwards and just figuring it out as I go along.
A podcast I’ve been listening to a lot recently and it’s shaping my thoughts on taking the creative path: The Pathless Path by Paul Millerd. He talks to creatives who have paved their own paths (hence, the name) and carved out a living for themselves with what really mattered to them.
Some of my favourite episodes so far:
with the creator of More to That
with the creator of Ness Labs and the Maker Mind newsletter
HEARTS ON FIRE. I loved this title and the entire episode so much
A common theme I picked out here is that no matter where you are from, or what culture you grew up in, there are “scripts” that you grow up with. These are the paths that most people believe to be good, i.e. able to give prestige, money, and/or status. And some of us just don’t value these things as much as others. And this group has the push factor to break out of the script and find what makes their soul feel alive.
The pathless path is not easy, as many echoed. Due to the fact that there are few reference points to follow since the path is unique to the individual. It makes figuring things out a lot harder, mistakes will be made, and there will be a lack of support before you become “successful” in the eyes of the masses.
Within the Singapore context, it’s even more difficult to imagine breaking out of the comfortable path laid out in front of us. Jean Voronkova, a Singaporean ex-lawyer turned entrepreneur lives her life in Bali now, chats with Shulin, her law schoolmate about it in this podcast episode (Youtube). They explore topics that resonate with me so much! One cool thing I learnt from Jean when she was asked about how she overcome her fears (I’m paraphrasing here): “Fear management is seeing those fears as practical problems which require practical solutions.” I love solving problems and that’s perhaps how I’ve been dealing with some of the fears I have.
My takeaway from these creators I’ve listened to:
define what is enough.
figure out what I’m doing that I can do easily, and that I’d keep doing even without external validation.
keep doing it.
save up enough to feel somewhat financially secure.
and take the leap.
When people are truly aligned with what they do, it’s so easy to tell that they are content and happy. There’s a sense of ✨aliveness✨ in their eyes and their entire being. Sure, there will be terrible days where the fear of failure gets incredibly paralysing. There will be uncertain days and gnawing self-doubt. But is it worth it? Yes.
I’ve got so much more to explore on this topic.
More to come.
To those reading this out of your inboxes - thank you for allowing me to turn up via email unannounced without any regularity. This is a space I feel safe riffing off thoughts.
As I find myself writing and publishing more, I wondered what’s the line between publishing on substack vs. my website.
My current answer: Here, I’m writing to think. There, I’m writing to document. Does it make sense? Let me know.
If you think of anyone who would benefit from reading something like this, appreciate a share!